Monday, 29 August 2011
I have a full on nerd gene, I will on occasion find a subject to which I become obsessively interested, such that I want to know everything about the subject, I want to read all the books, look at all the pictures, see all exhibits etc. I become a rather dull person at such occasions as I mainly want to talk and think about this super duper really interesting subject that I love. I truly enjoy it, but I’m not sure that others might.
Now this doesn’t happen often, last time it occurred it was gemstones, which ties neatly into my interest in jewellery, and I ended up doing a two year FGA qualification and is now a qualified gemmologist.
Now I love gemstones, but the interest has vaned a little bit in the last couple of years, I still love looking at them, working with them, reading about them, but I don’t obsessively read everything I can find about them in the way that I used to.
I’m kind of feeling that a new nerd subject is coming on, I’m just not sure what it might be yet, maybe wood work, maybe physics, it would be awesome if it was maths, but that is unlikely.
And I was wondering, what if stalkers are people with a nerd gene whose obsession becomes another person and not a subject. That thought is a little scary. I think I will stop thinking that, before that is the thing that becomes the great new interest, and I would turn into a stalker of stalkers.
Don’t want that, no good.
Thursday, 25 August 2011
So I went on holiday, to Sweden and to London. To Sweden to see family and went to London to go to a wedding. Both parts of the trip where great, in their own separate ways, they also put a lot off things in perspective.
Mainly in regards to location, I’ve been thinking a lot this last year about where I should live and why. I live in Australia, which is a lovely place; I have nice friends and job I really enjoy. I have been thinking that I should be moving back to Europe where I have nice friends and family, but obviously not this job that I have here.
It was lovely being back in London, my first thought on the first night when I met up with friends was, “jeezz what I’m doing, why aren’t I back here”. Then the second day when it was pissing down rain and I was stuck on the tube getting from Victoria to Westminster I was thinking “Ahh this is why I’m not here”.
It was a great weekend to be back in London, it felt a little like the last weekend before everything change. I have been talking to my close friend M (how I miss her when I live here in OZ) through the year about the fact that life moves on for everyone and that people move and change and social life change over time. But that is hard to see when you not amongst it on a daily basis.
Also moving back would not just be slotting back into where I was, because I’m not. I was never lonely in London because I wasn’t on my own. I would be, if I moved back now.
Moving back to Sweden would be even more different. It would be moving back to something that I should feel comfortable with but actually feel very uncomfortable with, I feel like I’m always missing the social clues, I don’t know the TV programs, or the writers or the whatever. I’ve missed the last 10 years, cause I haven’t been there for the last 10 years. Actually I haven’t lived in Stockholm since 1997.
And then there is the thing about the people that I have here, D for example. It would be very sad to leave him. Because he is nice and I like him. So for now, I’m staying here, and then we’ll see.
Maybe if I stop fretting about it, the answer to it all will come in time.