Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Life architect


I for the first time in my life have no plans, no goals and no real direction. I’m finding this thrilling and scary at the same time. I am the kind of person who always have had a 10 year plan, I’m going to study this, then work here then do that, do this etc.

Now that is not to say that the plans have always come together, been what I expected or lead me where I thought I would end up. But there has always been a plan, normally a 10 year one.

Now there is no plan, whatsoever, no long term plan at least. There are short term plans, like this weekend I’m going to a music festival and a dance performance and a lunch. But no long term plans, no future idea of where I’m going to go, work with, live with, city to live in.

This is an unbelievable uncomfortable situation for me, who is not a natural “take-the-day-as-it-comes” kind person. Carpe Diem my ass. This is not my normal habitat. But I think for now, making plans to fix, sort out, get on would more then likely lead to ending up in a very wrong place. So for now, I’m making 10 minute plans. Plans for today, eat something before going for a 3 hour opera at the opera house.

5 comments:

  1. I think it sounds like you need to practice this not-making-plans-way-of-living! I should too, but I will leave to you to evaluate this new state of mind. Then, based on your results, maybe I'll take it on. Or not. Seems like it's the right thing for you to do right now anyway, and the opera sounds like so much fun!

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  2. Living day by day is sometimes the only thing you can do. And having things to look forward to is important - get them in the diary. And sometimes it's counterproductive to keep looking inward - focusing on the outward is very important. Could you volunteer somewhere, if only for a few hours per month?

    And if all else fails, get drunk and stupid!

    Monica xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  3. Nice to see that you are writing here a little again! :) Lerning to drive is a long process of anger towards the car and the person sitting beside you telling you that you did something wrong... as if you didn't know that alredy when the engine shuts down....! Good for you that you have taking up driving. /Katrin

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    ReplyDelete
  5. Lagom är alltid bäst, lagom planer som man inte behöver hålla sig till, härliga visioner som går in om det blir sol, och att fånga dagen när det går. Men att planera saker och de inte faller in, det är mördande. Så det gör inte jag. Jag har idéer. kramar mamman

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