Friday, 30 September 2011
This week has introduced a lot of drama, some work related (something that happens in every work place), some very personal (lovely people getting sicker), finally getting he divorce papers into the courts (that has taken such a long time, as the Australian rules about this are weird), diss agreement with tax agencies (Yes, they are probably right, but I still don’t like the bill they’ve landed me with) etc etc etc…
So what have done with every single minute that I’ve had to spare; I have been stalking online fabric stores, of course.
My obsession has moved on from Eggs, which was good, because they started making me feel a little vobbly, with a hard shell to fabric. Lovely, brightly coloured, happy patterned fabric.
The reason I’m obsessing about it is that I have a wall panel planned for above my sofa, and it will be covered in fabric. I didn’t know there where so many fantastic fabric prints out there in the world.
Other then that, I have calculated so far in my life I have spent 45.8 days putting on mascara, realised that Hayfever is either proof that god has a weird sense of humour or possibly we (as in humans) are just the vehicle for DNA and not pretty useful, and finally that I really need to buy a new bed. One too many 4.30 am re-construction missions when for some reasons the slats decides to fall out the bottom.
So that is the week in full, drama, fabric and broken bed slats.
The weekend will be quiet, driving, buying Styrofoam, then going to the opera house to watch something disgusting about food and then more driving. That is it
Monday, 19 September 2011
18 months ago I bought fabric to make pillow cases for my "Throw Pillows" for my couch. For 18 months these huge 25 inch square pillows have had some random white and blue pillow covers.
Finally on Sunday night, as I was trying to distract myself from the pain in my non longer there tooth, I hand sewed one pillow case, this one, it's pink on side and bright yellow on the other, it even has a bright yellow zipper.
I was hand sewing it ( I don't have a sewing machine anymore), while sitting on the couch, waiting for D to come home from work, watching a documentary called MEGA FACTORIES, about IKEA. Isn't that a nice 1950's view for ya! When D came home said my stitches where very even ( he might have had to be prompted to say that, but still, my grandmother would have been proud)
Did I mention the fabric is from IKEA. I love IKEA.
In general I have a very high pain threshold, for everything except tooth ache. It’s the one thing I can’t deal with. The pain makes me panic.
This means I don’t like going to the dentist, this also then means that I really need to go to the dentist more often, and I only really go when I really really have to. Unfortunately I seem to be born with bad quality teeth, because I take better care of my teeth then most people I know. I brush and I floss and I do all the things they say I should, but I still have more trouble with my teeth then your average.
For example, 3 months ago I broke my tooth. I didn’t chip it, or you know snag it. No the thing broke in half, all the way down to the root of the tooth.
Now how could that have happened, well my uncle the dentist who is the first dentist that doesn’t scare the living daylight out of me has explained, that the dentist that I had in London had done a bad job on a big filling at the tooth so instead of working as a filling it was working as a wedge, prying the tooth apart little by little.
So, 3 months ago I ate a cracker, and the tooth came a part, actually split apart,, from a cracker, so I had a emergency patch job, until my uncle the dentist came back from holiday and I go and have it looked at. And what did he say, well the tooth had to come out.
And so it did this Saturday and I’m not a happy camper. He told me that on day two it would be more painful then day one, so I said fine. I can handle that, and you know what. NO I can’t, I can’t handle it, pain in my mouth/teeth makes me panic. All I’m doing right now is sitting waiting for another 15 minutes so I can take another lot of painkillers. The actual pain if left unattended makes me nauseous and aggressive.
This is not a good state to be in when at work. But I am afraid that if stand up and walk out, I might round kick someone that tries to talk to me.
And my lord that was one ugly tooth, even my uncle the dentist said so; he said I’m very happy that tooth is not in your mouth, because it’s one ugly tooth. An ugly tooth with delicate roots, which apparently it’s not a good thing for teeth.
I have named it Ruth the Tooth, it lives with Barney now, they can be ugly together.
Thursday, 15 September 2011
Sometimes things just pile up; it just ends up being so much sadness and pain that it feels like you have had your skin peeled of the body. Normally I’m pretty tough and can roll with the best of them; Rhino skin is truly needed when you do what I do.
At the moment, amongst all the great things that are happening there is overwhelming sadness in relation to someone who I love very very much, who is very sick. And it doesn’t matter how much I hope and pray that he will get better, he is still very sick and it doesn’t feel like it is progressing in the right direction. I hope that it will, that the information I will receive in the coming week will be more jubilant and more in the frame of “they where wrong all along, there is nothing wrong that a bit of vitamin C can’t fix”.
It gets more awkward and weird as it ends up being mixed up in the divorce, it’s a little like, this is a person who I have known for such a long time and hold very dear, but as with all divorces things gets split up, and you can’t take other people family members and make them yours however much you’d want to. Maybe I’m being silly, but I feel very lonely in my sadness, as no one that I know now, knows him.
So, it’s little like I have no skin, and in this particular case my sadness has no purpose. I can’t fix it, and I really can’t help, in the way that I could have had we not been getting divorced.
Monday, 12 September 2011
Another weekend passed in a speedy haze, one minute is Friday afternoon and you think you are going to get so many things done over the next 48 hours and then suddenly you realise its Sunday night and many of your plans have failed yet again.
I used to be so controlled with my time, so organised, so structured; I have memories of feeling that I had to much time, that I got everything done (with the result of always being exhausted), and I’ve just realised that by being a little more chilled out, I also have to accept that with the comfort of not being continuously running about doing “stuff” I don’t get as much done.
This weekend is no different, I feel like I’ve done nothing. The main thing I did was eat, socialise and then I did some driving.
The Driving, well on Saturday I had a lesson with my instructor, he said I was good enough to book my test, I think I took that to heart too much because I went driving with D on Sunday and scared the living daylight out of him. I missed 3 stop signs and had to slam on the break because I didn’t see the red light turn.
I blame it on the principle of driving where you will be going, the first thing my teacher Peter said was, when you do you learning driving go where you think you will be going once you have your license. To often people do their learning driving in very safe, known streets. That wont help you when you get your license.
He said to go where other P-platers will go, like McDonalds drive thru; He then looked at me, muttered a little about maybe I was to old for that but the super market or the beach might be more appropriate for me. I then had to tell him about the last time I went to the McDonalds drive thru..(i.e. the giving of finger to lady hassling me in the car park when I stalled the car).I’m unlikely to go back.
Anyway, we drove to Bondi beach, on a Sunday, that was probably a sub optimal decision. Driving at Bondi is horrible, and it’s really really bad on Sundays. People milling about, not looking where they are going just randomly jumping out into traffic, pretty scary place for a learner driver. But that is just excuses for me driving badly and without concentration; D was not a happy passenger. I will have to tidy the up the driving, otherwise there will be no license, and Kurt (the car) and I will not be able to drive happily ever after.
Friday, 2 September 2011
This last week I’ve been giddy, jumpy and hysterically happy. It’s a very strange sensation, it’s like I can’t really contain the general cheerfulness under my skin, it jumps out as face wide grins to the least suspecting passers by. I’m sure I’ve scared people; they don’t really know what hit them. I know my staff thinks I’m a little more weird then normal, but as one of them said “not in a bad way”.
It’s not that I’m normally a happy person, I am mainly rather cheerful, but this sort of general giddiness is not what I’m used to. It’s the same feeling that one has when you look forward to something specific that is going to be great, except there isn’t any particular event on the calendar right now.
I’m not complaining about it, I think it’s great. I’m just not used to it, and I’m a little scarred off it, in the way that you know that one day, if it’s gone, you will have known how great it was, and then you will know what you are missing out on.
In other news:
One of the girls in my office has a very pretty dress today. I will tell her.
Tonight I’m catching up with a really great group of girls that I got to know very well in the last year, and I’m going to eat souvlaki.
Tomorrow I’m going to see my friend R and her son that is now 1 year old.
On Sunday I’m going to learn to reverse park.
In reference to previous post aboutobsession I have now realised what the new subject is, it's Eggs, not as a subject of interest, but as a subject of eating. I can't get enough of boiled eggs. It's almost as bad as the "year of the tuna" which led to not being able to eat any more tuna ever, so let's hope I get over it quicker this time.
Visan: Re tattoo – Reckon it would be a little chavvy to have a sonnet about obsessions about monkeys as tattoo..but you know, maybe it would become “THE” new fashion, Angelina eat your heart out, check out how my poem rhymes gallus besom with m
Thursday, 1 September 2011
Today, the 1 of September is the first day of spring. Spring people, Spring is here, it’s coming, bring on the asparagus.
I have a strong urge to spring clean, to tidy and sort out, during the winter I haven’t much enjoyed staying at home. My flat has been cold, and not very friendly feeling, I’ve been really trying not to spend much time there. I think that will have to change as this spring is coming.
I have been thinking about sorting, cleaning, tidying out all my things. Last year when I moved out of the last flat, it was just aiming to get out as fast as possible, get out, get out, get out, so I never had a look at the things that I packed.
I have so many things in my cupboards and drawers that I don’t use, like or think are beautiful. I don’t know for the life of me why I have them. But I do, and now they are all going to have to find new places to live.
I will try not to overwhelm myself with this, as I normally do, by pulling everything out, and trying to sort it, and then getting tired and frustrated and unable to throw anything. This time I will do it slowly and in bits, I’ll start cupboard by cupboard in the kitchen and move from there.
I have been obsessively reading Martha Stewart's (cause I love her) cleaning, tidy and organisation tips, I’m so geared up to do this that I’m almost panting. I just hope that the energy will not disappear before I start. That has happened before.
I also have a great plan for the poem my lovely friend M gave me for my 30:th birthday, a great plan I tell you…..